Know the real reason for your child’s Laziness
“Sir, I am telling you Rahul is very Lazy, that is why he doesn’t do his homework”, says the mother of this young teen.
“The whole day Meera is lazily sitting in front of the TV doing nothing”, says the worried mother of another girl, just like many other parents that I keep meeting regularly.
Even the kids have now accepted the fact that – they don’t study because they are lazy or they don’t keep things their properly coz “it’s kind of boring”.
Sounds a valid reason, isn’t it?
And we are Comfortable with it, aren’t we?
But talking realistically, long-term outcomes of this so-called “laziness” are scary.
So, what exactly is this laziness? Is it an outcome or a cause? Let’s find out.
WHAT EXACTLY IS LAZINESS?
Dictionary defines the adjective ‘lazy’ as – unwilling to work or use energy.
“Lack of Actions = Lazy person”, is the definition made by humans.
Now, let’s take a step ahead & get into understanding our mind here.
YOUR BRAIN IS ALWAYS ACTIVE
Whenever you are not doing any physical activity, you are busy thinking, visualizing, forecasting, observing, listening or talking. All these are human actions or activities that generally go unnoticed.
Our brains function 24*7 & thus, there is no so much moment when you are not doing anything.
As our minds are always active, the actions we take depend on what we think of the activity that lies ahead of us.
These activities can be classified into 2 types:
| Classification | Activities that we: | Our action |
| Type 1 | Like/Know/Been Appreciated/Confident/Habit formed | DO IT |
| Type 2 | Dislike/Lack Confidence/No Habit/Lack Appreciation/Lack Knowledge
Because of: Fear of Failure/Fear of Added Responsibility/Fear of Peoples Reaction Leading to: Avoidance Attitude: the so-called ‘Laziness’ Entering Protective Mode (Aggressive, Don’t Care Attitude)
|
DON’T DO
|
So, the next time when you use the word ‘Lazy’ for your child/friend, try entering into their inner world if you are his/her well-wisher & understand the core areas and reasons behind their “Don’t, Do’s.
Hence, The ANSWER to this tricky question is –
“YOU ARE NOT LAZY, YOU ARE CONFUSED”
Laziness is not the cause, it’s the outcome of a CONFUSED mind.
Information, Expectations, Social Media has continuously raised many questions on one’s personal identity; specifically, for teens when they just enter that critical age.
The Mind is always trying to work out a balance between all of the above, which is practically impossible for most of the teens & therefore it fails to get the desired/expected result.
This overloaded and confused mind of ours is therefore always tired and naturally tends to choose pleasing activities like playing games, meeting friends, chatting on mobile phones etc. keeping them distracted. This state of mind does not help in achieving the desired results.
Lack of results then subsequently adds to self-personality issues which further lead to stress & depression in teens at a very young age.
So what is the solution to this widespread issue?
Well,it’s very important to understand there’s no one rule/process which works with humans & thus a continuous experiment with strong intention is the desired attitude to tackle such issues.
Having said that, few of the following actions persistently implemented do really help in the long term:
- Build Vision – As commonly heard, a goal or a vision provides that necessary ‘focus’ to your thinking.
- Communication – An Authentic communication has the power to resolve the most complex issues.
- Non-Judgmental Environment – Parent’s with non-judgmental attitude are in better position to help their kids.
- Space & Time – Provide space & time rather than expecting results within stipulated time. In the end, things always fall in place.
- Third Person Theory – Impact of an outsider is truly under talked. There are Teen Support Organizations such as HolisTree providing desired support.
In one of my upcoming articles, we shall be talking in detail about the solutions & associated actions.
Let us create that much-needed space & support the teens in this confusing & demanding world.
After all, we are HUMANS first.
Until next time,
Dhaval Shah.
Founder at Holistree
www.holistree.in
Note -: Names changed due to confidential reasons.
